VOTE FOR MY POST





I am trying to win a free trip to Las Vegas... free is always good. I'd even stay in the Circus Dumpus for free. Well, maybe not, their poker room is pretty crappy.
Anyway, this is my submission using this "Icanhadcheezburger" speak. I took one of their existing pictures and put a POKER RELATED caption to it!

If you are a playa you would understand what this means. I play against many donkeys day-to-day but not many of them are wearing dog suits!

Go here to vote for my post:
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?
UloozagainUR128484434578593750.jpg

Why Po-Lice Should Fight REAL Crime

This is an unbelievable article!!! Apparently the po-lice in San Mateo are keen on not fighting real crime either like the guys in NOVA. Remember the busted poker games in NOVA last year and the year before? The guy wasn't even taking a rake on the game.

The below article was taken from:
http://www.reason.com/blog/show/124397.html

San Mateo Police Raid Small-Stakes Poker Game

Radley Balko | January 14, 2008, 10:45pm

Police in San Mateo County, California apparently first spent months investigating the small-stakes poker game. From this firsthand account, it looks like a couple of the officers were playing regularly for several weeks before sending in the SWAT team, guns drawn, last week. If California is like most states (and I believe it is), a poker game is only illegal if the house is taking a rake off the top. In this case, it looks like that "rake" was the $5 the extra the hosts asked from each buy-in to pay for pizza and beer.

Police also took a 13-year-old girl out of the home, away from her parents, and turned her over to child protective services. In addition to the charge of running an illegal gambling operation, the hosts are also charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Good thing the poor girl was saved before slouching toward an inevitable life of crime.

I'm not quite sure I understand this part, either:

A background check on the house's residents led officers to a Web site advertising weekly poker games. The Web site was used to lure "unwitting" participants to the tournaments, which required a $25 to $55 buy-in with an extra $5 "refreshment" fee, according to the report.

How does an advertisement for a small-stakes poker game "unwittingly lure" someone? Did they think the game was free? If they did, was there something preventing them from simply leaving if they didn't want to pay the buy-in?

This account suggests the police hinted to individual players that the hosts may have been cheating or defrauding them, though that's not apparent in the news accounts. Firsthand accounts on poker sites have only good things to say about the hosts. Of course, even if the hosts were cheating, it wouldn't justify a full-on raid, particularly in mid-tournament. The SWAT tactics seem more like intimidation. Raiding in mid-tournament also ensures there's a $1,300 pot to seize for the sheriff department's general fund.

Finally, the San Mateo Daily Journal includes this helpful note:

The San Mateo County Sheriff’s Office encourages citizens to report instances of heavy foot traffic, frequent visitors and illegal parking in residential areas by calling its anonymous tip line...

Mustn't be much crime in San Mateo.

The Mr. Vegas Invitational

We're coming down to the final day before the Mr. Vegas Poker Invitational! So far I am expecting about 30 players! Should be a good time. I was reading email this evening and Scissorhands mentioned he went to the mistertodd.com site and checked out the poker sayings again! I did the service of posting below so you can get a laugh too!
Maybe, if we're lucky and MRTODD doesn't get knocked out playing some silly A-T off, he will say one of these!!!

The below is from http://www.mistertodd.com/pokersayings.html

Poker Saying	Definition
BUSTER!	This means, I dealt the person a very bad card on a high-low game. 8 for low, remember!!!
THAT FITS!!	I say this when someone hits the FULL BOAT they are looking for, or they hit that low card to give them a low.
He got that case 8...unbelievable!!	I say this when I know that three 8's are dead and then Cravens is trying for a full boat anyway and he hits the LAST 8 in the deck! Oh my!
Nice Low	I deal someone 2-3-4 or 3-4-5 or replace an Ace for any of those cards!
BEAUTIFUL LOW	I usually say this with emphasis when I deal someone 2-3-4-5 or 2-3-4-6. Unless I deal it to myself, then I will not say a word.
OH MY	I say this when I deal someone A-2-3-4, or three of a kind up top, like Q-Q-Q... Oh my! OH MY!!!
What were you thinking?	I usually say this to Cravens when he stays in way past hands he should have folded and then he hits a case (see above) card to beat me! I yell "What were you thinking!!!" Then he usually gets belligerent on me, but I told him!
Sometimes, you gotta fold a winning hand	My cats told me this once. I say this after the Director bluffs me out of a hand -- the hand that was the winning hand.
Go on three fives	In the claw, I dealt 100 hands out to my cats and they determined that, on the claw, they should go on three 5's or more. I was a little concerned with this, but they reassured me it was ok. I invited Keith, my neighbor, over the next day, and I took all his money so I figured my cats logic was sound!
MUTHER-FUCKER!!!!!!!!	I usually yell this and spaz-out with my cards clutched very tightly in my hands as I throw down three ACES in Monte and then end up losing when I could have swept both hands.
LUCKY EDDIE BASTARD	This is what I call my friend Eddie when he hammers me in a game of 7-27 after building a 7.5 into a 27 to beat my 26.5 that I have been betting strong on the entire game. I must reconsider this name, since Eddie has not been lucky this year. My cats put a voodoo hex on him. Huh huh huh huh.
Huh huh huh huh huh	This is my laugh when I hammer Cravens on an aces over kings boat. It is a good feeling to beat someone like a mangy cat!
... and a quarter	I say this when I know my ass is kicked from here to the Purina Cat Chow factory and I am killing the raises.
...and a dollar	I say this when I know I have the "lock hand" and I will hammer my friend Eddie like day old kitty litter sitting in the sun.
Give me the DREAM TICKET!	I say this when I need that King to complete my Kings full boat. I also say this when I see the hoochy-girls down on 15th Ave in DC, I also like to say, "Come on, gimme some shugga, Baby."
The price of poker just went up	I say this when people have been betting "Robs" and I deal a strong open pair...like 2 queens or 2 aces to someone else. I get scared and usually fold when this happens.
Buck	I say this in Monte. I bet dollars all the time and then I end up losing, kinda like when I play fantasy football and baseball, but that's like $100 instead of $1. I'll win one of these days.
One up, One down	I say this in double-double, my most favorite game in the world. My second cat invented this game one morning as he was eating his Fancy Feast cat food. I thought it was a cool game! The old men I used to play with loved it too, until they started to croak.
Very Impressive	I said this that time Troy hammered me with a Royal Flush and I had four Jacks. I was very upset and that hand still haunts me in my heart and my dreams...but I shall live on.

Giants vs. Packers Point Spread

The latest point spread is that the Packers are giving 7.5 points. My pick:

MIXX.COM



Check this site out: www.mixx.com

I am there under RoyalT. I have fun posting stories on the loser 49ers, corrupt politicians, Bay Area news, Health News, and Ron Paul (the would be next President if it wasn't for the corrupt politicians and big business).

My Top Ten of why I like MIXX:

1) You can go there and read stories under "Recent" or Popular" and not have to navigate horrible news sites like Yahoo/AOL/or MSNBC.

2) If you post a controversial story you can have people get all fired up and comment! The best is if you post stuff from CNN (Clinton News Network) for the Republicans or FOXNews for the Republicans.

3) The photos are cool, although I haven't found any good porn there yet.

4) You can pretty much find all the popular videos (sans "2 Girls 1 Cup") that you have heard about. I think I recently posted "Whopper Freakout, In the Hood" -- too funny.

5) It will be the home of DAVEELLIS, eventually. Wait till you see his prolific posts!

6) The UI is excellent! Unlike that over-hyped site named after a video game (Dig Dugg reference).

7) I've met some of the people there and for the most part, all of them are cool. Well, maybe "cool" is not the word... one of them is certainly "cool" ... how about I just leave it as "they are all swell people!"

8) The photos they put up for system messages are pretty funny. They post these BABIES doing silly things.

9) Anytime a story about poker is submitted it goes into MyMixx area. So I can keep up with the profession! Check this story out... http://www.mixx.com/stories/64360/san-mateo-police-raid-small-stakes-poker-game
OUTRAGEOUS!!!! Being on Mixx will help give me fodder to write about in this blog! This is why crime is out of control. All the officers it took to bust this 5-dollar poker game would have been better served fighting real crime ... and I am NOT talking about traffic enforcement!

10) The name is cool. It makes me think of a nice mixxed MANHATTAN! Speaking of which ... it is COCKTAIL HOUR!!!! Bye.

WINTERIZING and POKER UPDATE

Winterizing
Today I am winterizing. I got a draft eliminator for one of the doors. Yep, it is actually called that - AND - the people that make Duck Tape make it too! You cannot go wrong with anything Duck Tape makes. I also got shrink wrap for the windows. It is a clear plastic that is put over the windows and then blown with a hairdryer to shrink-wrap it snug against the window. It is supposed to keep all the cold air out and the warm air in the house.

Poker
OK, enough about that boring topic of winterizing. Here's an update on the MR VEGAS INVITATIONAL:

We are up to 21 players. A player of note who just RSVP'd: MRTODD - yes, THAT MRTODD... the throw back individual to the days of 25-cent dealer's choice poker. MRTODD would be a professional poker player if he just moved to Vegas. He'd love to grind it out all night long on a 2-5 or 5-10 game. He needs a China bride to watch Buh-bee tho. Another player of note to reply IN is none other than SCISSORHANDS! No poker tourney is complete without that guy! He has had great success in tournaments at the Beacon Hill Casino!

Also, Will is coming, if you recall he won the last Beacon Hill casino event. Anyone wishing to participate for $5 - there will be a BOUNTY on Will's head! Maybe I can flop a set of 9's on him again and bust him!

I will keep updating the tourney here until the BIG evening (this Friday).

New Posts and Pics Coming Soon!

Well, now that I am back and it is a New Year... let's have some fun!
I will be posting pics from my cross country trip a few months ago.
I'll also keep you up to date on goings on - and my take on things like the Cowgirls getting smoked yesterday! WOO HOO! New and EXCITING poker stories to follow! (yeah, below are my aces getting smoked by Madsen's queens. Being able to blog about it is step two.)

Cotton and Jesus
October 4, 2007

On the side of the road, going down route 40 through Arkansas, we noticed:
1. Cotton
(cotton pic coming soon)

2. Jesus signs.
There were a number of Jesus signs but we were unable to get pictures since they came up on us at the last second. Jesus signs are to these thumpers as rickshaws and cows are to the Indians. One of the signs read, "Jesus Saves" in BIG BOLD BLACK LETTERS on a white background. Some of the other signs had longer thumper sayings on them about your kids being the lightening rods for satan and other such entertaining verbiage.

3. Rice fields
But we didn't see any dudes with Vietnamee hats picking the rice.

Little Rock
October 4, 2007
We just drove past Bill Clinton Land. "Ohhhh Pinochioooooo," as M would say. I didn't see any CNN (Clinton News Network) crews out there. Route 40 takes you past Little Rock so we didn't have to go through the downtown area. Here are a few pictures of Little Rock: (coming soon)

Unlike OKC ... we had time to take a few pictures since it was more than a "one-blink" city. We also drove past the Ozarks. We didn't see any hillbillies or Touchdown Jesus. I suppose you'd have to actually head into the sticks to do that. Route 40 is too "main stream" for the hillbillies. Dylan is disappointed he didn't get to see any hillbillies. We also forgot to scan the radio for the banjo station.

The Best Waffle House
October 4, 2007
We stopped in Waffle House right after Ft. Smith, Arkansas. It was the cleanest Waffle House I ever saw!!!! The bathroom was SUPER CLEAN and the waitress was nice and it appeared she was only missing one tooth. She even gave us free virgin tequila sunrises. There were no teethless-trashers in there chain smoking and you didn't slip on the floor when you walked in. It was amazing. The food was excellent as well! When Dy and I get back we'll have to workout hard for a month so we don't turn into "corpulent Americans."

Carrie Underwood
October 4, 2007
Another way to know that your state is beat is when it advertises, off a major interstate, the city an American Idol came from. In this case, there was a big sign stating that Carrie Underwood - American Idol winner - is from Maskogee, Oklahoma. I tried to take a picture of the sign but it didn't come out that good, probably because Carrie Underwood is so beat. She goes out with Cowgirl and pizza maker Tony Roma.


Carrie Underwood Billboard

Oklahoma Drivers Suck!!
October 4, 2007
Who drives UNDER the speed limit unless in a truck??!?!?! We ran up on so many duffuss Oklahoma drivers who were going 5-10 mph UNDER the posted speed limit. I suppose they are problems with them to begin with, since they living in Oklahoma. I know a few people from Oklahoma and they are pretty much BIG TIME anti-social, annoying, losers!

Plus, the roads SUCK here. In a big truck like this - you bounce all over the place. You know that your state is BEAT when people driving through it are looking forward to getting to ARKANSAS. There really isn't anything good to say about Oklahoma. Even their main city (OKC) looked pretty small and beat. If you blinked - you missed it.

Oklahoma is the ultimate FILLER STATE.

OKC
October 3, 2007

We made it right outside of OKC and stopped for the night, Time to fire up a beverage!

Cow Crap
October 3, 2007

It smells like ASS! Cow Ass, actually. We ended up driving to Amarillo and came across miles of cow farms. I could totally smell the E. Coli in the air. We figured that people who lived around there got used to the smell and their NORMAL sense of smell was cow crap. Imagine if they went to a place with out that smell ... "Hey Billy Joe Bob, it smells like clean air here. BLEEEHHHHHHH!"

We stopped at a Waffle House in Amarillo, Texass (as Dave Ellis) would say. It was like any other standard Waffle House with a little bit higher on the hick-factor. The waitress was fat and was missing three of her front teeth. I could hardly understand her - she sounded like some Indian dude. When we were leaving a car full of HIPPIES rolled up!!!! I think they were lost... or the cow crap smell finally got to Billy Joe Bob and his crew.

PTL
October 3, 2007

We knew we were in Texass when we saw the big 20 story tall cross lit up on the side of the road.
Here is a photo of it ... I even think that Jesus' face materialized in that photo, maybe I can sell it on eBay or at the Texass State Fair.

Near Death Experience
October 3, 2007

I was driving and suddenly I heard a big POP!! The next thing I knew - the truck in front of us - his tire BLEW UP! I nearly avoided the rubber pieces on the road. He continued to drive along without even stopping.

Good thing we didn't die!

Back on the Road
October 3, 2007

We're back on the road... heading for Oklahoma City. We just passed through Amarillo, Texas.

In a Holding Pattern

Today (October 3) we got to about 20 miles from Texas and we had to land at a Motel 8 to get internet connection so Dylan could fix some servers that were blowing up.

Here he is working away:

Arizona and New Mexico

Today is Tuesday, October 2. We head through Arizona and New Mexico and we're stopping in Albuquerque tonight. Here are some pictures of the scenery. This is HILLS HAVE EYES COUNTRY!!!



There were some creepy roads that went off the main road (Route 40). Who knows where these roads go. I think The Hills Have Eyes people build these roads so that you will go down there to take a "short cut" and then they can chop you up into pieces.

Needless to say, Naomi (my GPS device) kept us on the main roads and off the Hills Have Eyes roads.

As you can see the landscape is very flat, brush-like. It is cool desert environment and the weather is GREAT (in the 70s and 80s). This is a perfect time to drive this route.

Also, Route 40 runs along the old Route 66. We'll get a pic of the old Route 66 road and post it up!

Here's a pic of how FLAT it is:



We got our overnight location around 1am. Dylan was a monster and was able to drive 100 miles past Albuquerque!

Viva Las Vegas

We arrived in Las Vegas at about 11:30pm on Monday. Here we are arriving at The Signature:



We checked into the MGM Signature. We parked our gigantic truck right out front of the first tower's valet. We dropped our stuff off in the room and went down to decompress and get a drink.


My buddy Lee Childs was in Vegas at a trade show and we were going to get together with him. We called him at around 1am and there was no answer! We found out later that he was IN BED!!! Such a party animal! HA HA HA! He actually said that he was totally bored earlier and would have loved to hang out. He gets to play poker against people who don't know what "Texas Hold 'Em" means. Sounds like a blast :-D

We decided to sleep in and get some good miles in on Tuesday!
Next stop would be Albuquerque.